Chapter 8: Brother, I don’t want to work hard anymore

Lan He not only knew how to make incense, he also knew how to construct incense mountains.

Three sticks of long joss sticks were used to make a frame, and the others were stacked on top so that the base was wider than the top---that’s why it was also called an incense tower, with a hollow middle to make lighting it more convenient.[1]

As Lan He was constructing, Miss Hu could also start to smell the fragrance. She stared at the incense mountain with a focused look in her eyes.

That’s right… This was a living Impermanence. He may enjoy eating, but that didn’t mean that he wouldn’t have her favorite “food”. For example, these incense that living souls didn’t like...

Once it was complete, Lan He lit up the incense. With a “bang”, the flame leaped up from the bottom and produced a dense strand of fragrance.

Lan He watched as the smoke split into two strands, and entered the noses of Miss Hu and Old Bai separately.

It was interesting to note that before it entered Miss Gu’s nostrils, the smoke formed into flower shapes, which were then inhaled by her.

Miss Hu sucked in a breath of incense, her eyes glowing green and her mouth split wide open. She was inhaling through her nose and swallowing big gulps of the incense at the same time, her actions swift as lightning. The tip of her tongue peeked out occasionally, seeming long enough to lick her own face.

She felt that Lan He was like a hungry ghost, but didn’t think that when it was her turn, she would be even more impatient than Lan He.

Lan He was still not used to Miss Hu’s appearance and averted his gaze like when he saw ghosts that he didn’t want to see. He suspected that Miss Hu was an animal taking human form. Sometimes, Old Bai displayed a horrifying expression, but it wouldn’t be this beast-like.

Furthermore with Miss Hu’s surname, Lan He suspected that she wasn’t a human or a ghost, but a fox.[2]

The saying went “Southern ghosts, Northern foxes”, with Southern China having many ghost legends and Northern China, on the other hand, having many animal spirits. In particular of the fox variety, there was the saying “it was not a village without the presence of fox charm”.

Ji Xiaolan said in <Yuewei Cottage Records> that the fox was between mankind and animal kind; between those who belonged in the Netherworld and the Overworld; between a fairy and a demon.

This referred to how foxes could take on both righteous and evil appearances. Miss Hu was here as a maidservant, and although her appearance may be a bit strange at times, she had a decent status.

Lan He deduced this, partly to assure himself, and gazed at Miss Hu.

Miss Hu finished eating and gave a sigh of content, “This taste is top quality.”

“Not bad, and these were all made by himself. Also the paper oxen and horses were all folded by him. This is indeed one of our Dongyue Netherworld division’s fierce generals!” Old Bai happily boasted.

“He made them?” Miss Hu looked envious. Although everyone can be considered a family, since her boss was Lan He’s boss’ daughter, it was still different. Thus she mumbled to Lan He, “Where do you live? I can follow you home.”

Lan He: “....”

Lan He panicked, what, she wanted to entrust herself to him because of a meal?

“This, n-no, it’s not a good idea.”

Raise a vixen? It was better to forget it.

Miss Hu looked at her fingernails, “Do you feel that my nails are too long?”

They were indeed longer than average, but… Lan He gazed at Old Bai with a silent plea for help.

“Flexing your waist because of a few sticks of incense, you are throwing the Lady’s face away!” Old Bai reprimanded but said seriously to Lan He, “Brother, I don’t want to work hard anymore…”

Lan He: “....”

Old Bai knew that Lan He wanted to quit being an Impermanence, don’t mention raising the one surnamed Hu. He joked a bit before persuading her, “Big Miss, you also know what occasion it is, we are all so busy and can’t take care of you.”

“Alright,” Miss Hu looked at Lan He regretfully.

……

The gifts were sent, the food was also eaten, so it was time to go back.

The little fatty hugged Lan He’s leg, crying and refusing to let him leave. Lan He hugged him, “I’ll come back to see you.”

“How about me?” Miss Gu smiled, saliva dripping from a corner of her mouth.

Lan He: “... Okay.”

Old Bai and Lan He went down the mountain together. However Old Bai claimed that he had things to do and left in a different direction, so Lan He walked back to the city himself.

I’m a living Impermanence, whatever it is, I don’t deserve to be afraid. Lan He hummed a tune and floated back home. However, he heard the sounds of gongs and drums midway.

Lan He found it strange. Here in the wilderness, the nearest building lights were still a long distance away and even the roads had few cars passing by. Where did the lively sounds of gongs and drums come from?

He listened carefully, not only gongs and drums, he could also hear the babbling of an opera.

Meng Qing was a Sichuan opera actress. She has worked for many years with her theatrical troupe in a tea house in Beijing. Although it was called a theatrical troupe, it was really modern and was even registered as a company.

Beijing was a cultural hub, and though they were Sichuan local operas, they were still appreciated by some people. Oftentimes, they would also accept some outdoor performance requests.

For example this time, a Sichuan boss invited them to perform at his own leisure villa.

A large bus brought everyone to that leisure villa in the suburbs of Beijing. On the bus, everyone was discussing how recently, the Hotpot City wanted to acquire their troupe. The actors in the troupe were all from Sichuan, so everyone was used to talking with their local accent, filling the bus with their chatter.

Upon reaching the leisure villa, everyone hurried to put on their makeup. The performance would start at night, but the stage was open-air.

Today what they were going to perform was the classic ghost drama, <Love Detective> in <Burning Incense Records>.

Sichuan had many ghost operas with stories that involved ghosts, and some even had the ghost as the main character. Such as <The Black Basin Records> which was listed as the number one ghost opera. This opera had an adorable original name---<Jingle Basin Ghost>, but it was actually known for its horror.

Sichuan had so many ghost operas, they even formed a niche market: ghost fox operas.

This category was separated into the ghost type and the fox fairy type, which differ in the costumes of the female lead. In a ghost type opera, the female would wear water sleeves[3] while in a fox type opera, the female would wear a headdress with long pheasant tail feathers. Both required a high degree of skill and technique in order to display the characteristic movements.

And for today’s performance of <Love Detective>, Meng Qing was the actress playing the female ghost, Jiao Guiying.

Meng Qing carefully applied her makeup, and thought of how in the past, those who acted as ghosts would hang paper money on their earlobes as a sign.

At this moment, Meng Qing heard the troupe leader asking, “Where’s the spirit official? Where did the spirit official go?”

The “spirit official” was not anyone’s name. It was the Sichuan opera tradition that whenever there was a ghost opera, especially when there were many ghost and monster characters, an actor would be invited to avoid attracting real ghosts and trouble. Usually, it was the crew’s Jing[4] character, dressed as the legendary spirit official who protected the King of Deities. He would come out to secure the stage at the beginning and sweep the stage at the end. The purpose of this was to ‘sweep away’ the demons and ghosts.

Because they were not performing a series of operas, they had simplified these ceremonies. They just needed to chant a mantra at the beginning of the performance and they didn’t have to chant when sweeping the stage later. Just use a broomstick to sweep the whole place.

It was so simple, how could a person disappear.

The troupe leader searched everywhere and finally found him in the toilet. The Jing also didn’t know what he ate wrong and was currently having diarrhea.

The troupe leader pinched his nose and communicated with him for a long time, but it wasn’t possible for him to come out. Normally, he was always the one acting as the spirit official. The troupe leader had no choice but to find a temporary substitute.

Meng Qing was backstage, watching the substitute spirit official holding a golden whip and chanting a mantra in front of the stage.

She couldn’t resist turning to the actor playing the male lead, Wang Kui, and asking, “Did he chant it wrong?”

The actor whose real name was Li Chuan nodded, “Seems like it.”

Though they have never chanted before, after hearing it so many times, they could still tell that there was a mistake in the previous section. It was a temporary substitute and the audience couldn’t tell the difference, so it was muddled through.

The times were different, so nobody was concerned.

<Love Detective> was the highlight of the <Burning Incense Records>.

It was about the female lead, Jiao Guiying, hanging herself and becoming a ghost. After visiting her lover, Wang Kui’s study, she discovered that he wasn’t a good person and killed him.

Soon, it was time for Meng Qing to go on stage.

She entered the scene, steps light and quiet, water sleeves floating behind her, and her feet not exposed at all. She was really like a ghost, and her strong basic skills immediately drew the audience's applause.

As the plot progressed, the beautiful ghost who found out how heartless the scum man was, became a vicious ghost wanting to claim his life. The situation was extremely intense.

Performing on this open-air stage at night, one could always seem to feel a cool breeze. Though Meng Qing put all her effort into acting, and was thus producing a lot of internal heat, she still felt a chill on the back of her neck. Maybe her sweat was blown dry by the wind, so it felt colder.

Meng Qing left the stage in the midst of applause. But her legs felt a bit weak, and it was lucky that Li Chuan supported her as the two prepared to go remove their makeup. The stage was set up in the plaza to make it more convenient for the audience to access. The “backstage” was of course a distance from shelter.

The leisure villa was vast, staring out from inside, it was possible to see mountains, and there was only a soft glow from the flowers and grass on the roads.

Meng Qing walked further and further, but felt that something was strange, “Did we take the wrong road? How come there’s only the two of us around?”

They weren’t the only ones at curtain call. There were other actors too, plus the audience who should have dispersed by now. It shouldn’t be this deserted.

“That’s impossible, I remember it clearly, it’s this way ah.” Li Chuan’s memory was good, and he believed that he didn’t go the wrong way. However, seeing how there’s nobody in sight, he also felt it was strange. “Maybe they walked another way… let’s go, we should be reaching soon anyway.”

There’s not a single person here, really strange ah. Meng Qing’s heart was thumping in her chest. At this moment, a voice called out from behind them, “Miss Meng Qing, Mr Li Chuan!”

Meng Qing stopped and turned back. She noticed a middle-aged man wearing a Zhongshan suit[5] catching up to them. In the darkness, his face was gradually revealed. He looked friendly, with big eyes and a high nose bridge, “Hello, I saw your show earlier, it was fantastic!”

“Thank you,” Meng Qing thought, so it was an opera fan ah. Just now, she seemed to have seen him below the stage, standing in excitement.

The middle-aged man was very passionate, “When Miss Meng Qing was on stage, I felt that your technique was really good. The floating movement of a ghost was grasped so well. And when you claimed the life of the scum man, that attitude reminded me so much of Cai Yuexiu! Only Cai Yuexiu was a man, and was stronger than you. I could feel his power just by shaking hands with him. Aiya, I digress, anyway I wanted to say that I have not seen such an outstanding Jiao Guiying for a very long time. Really a remarkable ghost ya…”

The richer his expressions, the more shocked and suspicious Meng Qing and Li Chuan were.

Although he was a man, Cai Yueqiu was a famous senior and Sichuan opera actor. He was renowned in particular for his portrayal of Jiao Guiying.

It was said that “The King Zhou frequently drinks from the river and is accompanied by Tan Yunxian. Imperial Concubine Yang Sulan gets drunk and Cai Luoluo captures Wang Kui alive.”[6] Among the four classics, Cai Luoluo refers to Cai Yueqiu.

However, this saying was very old, and was passed down from the Late Qing Dynasty and Early Republic of China.

How was it possible for this middle-aged man to meet and shake hands with Cai Yueqiu!

Meng Qing had the suspicion that he had mental problems, when the middle-aged man reached out and said, “Honestly, I know a few old friends who are having a gathering tonight. They didn’t believe that you would act well, so it was only me who came. I want to invite the two of you to perform, and let them have a good look. How about it?”

He waved them over and took a few steps away himself.

It was only then that Meng Qing and Li Chuan noticed his feet. They took one look and their blood ran cold. The man was missing a shadow, and he was floating.

……

Lan He followed the hubbub. He didn’t want to at the start, but when he saw the speakers and microphones on the side of the road, which were still in good condition, his curiosity was aroused and so he went to take a look.

He saw a crudely set up stage with two actors dressed in full costume, facing off against each other in a performance. Despite the makeup, the hard lines of one of the actors' faces was evident; he was clearly a male.

In addition to the band on the side, there were more than a dozen people in the audience, watching attentively.

On stage, the ‘youth’ pushed the ‘elderly’, “*spits*, you old hag…Why don’t you just die...”

The audience below the stage scolded fiercely, “What a vicious daughter-in-law!”

Lan He looked over from a distance away, taking advantage of the tall grass hiding his figure, he watched intently.

Though the two actors had low Yang energy, they were indeed living people. However those cheering and watching the show had pale faces and rigid smiles. They were obviously ghosts, and wild ghosts[7] at that.

Because of this, although the two were acting out a show of one bullying the other, both of them had tears in their eyes and trembling legs.

---just from looking at the pale faces below the stage, Li Chuan and Meng Qing were almost scared to death. They only persisted because they were afraid they would be punished for not acting properly.

Acting <Love Detective> once wasn’t enough, these… old friends still wanted them to perform. Their courage was slowly dissipating and they couldn’t help wondering if they would be able to go back.

Lan He was watching this when someone abruptly called out from behind him:

“It’s you?”

Lan He thought it was a ghost at first, and turned to look. Wearing black clothes with a head of black hair, and a rosary around his neck. It was the person he met when he and Yan San were delivering ghosts together, the one who lost his soul. He said in surprise, "It's you!"

It’s really you. Song Futan wasn’t able to ask this ghost official for his name previously. The Netherworld was so big, but they were still able to meet again.

Ghosts officials wearing a mask, with a hat inscribed with “since I’m already here”, there should only be this one. Though he wouldn’t dare to recognize this.

Seeing the surprise in Lan He’s expression, Song Futan’s heart felt lighter and he gave a restrained nod.

Lan He looked at him in shock, “Why are you here too? Did you die?”

Song Futan: “....”

Song Futan: “My soul left my body.”

“Surely not.” Lan He felt that something wasn’t right, “I just sent you home the other day.”

Song Futan stared at him, “You said ‘as fast as a whipped horse’?”

“....” Lan He smiled awkwardly, “I wanted to give you a horse but who knew I only had that left… Yi, did it tear on the way back? So you drifted until now?”

Song Futan: “My soul wandered again.”

Lan He found this strange, and resisted commenting that his soul wandering almost caught up to him who was an Impermanence. “Again? What are you doing, in this short period of time, that your soul actually wandered again. Did these ghosts bring you here? If it’s not torn, then what happened to the war donkey I gave you? Surely you haven’t thrown it away!”

Song Futan: “??”

Song Futan: “War donkey…?”

What this meant was: you have the cheek to say this.

Lan He: “What is the problem? I’m a fierce general of the Dongyue Netherworld division!”

*TL Note:

Hi friends! It's me again, 7th Moon. This chapter wasn’t so bad, though I got distracted a lot. Hope you enjoyed another round of Lan He’s shamelessness XD. A war donkey with a crippled leg hahahah. You can check out the list of words and phrases below for more descriptions. If there’s any other terms you’re unfamiliar with, feel free to pop a question below!

[1] I can’t seem to find this on the internet, but an incense mountain/tower would probably look like a campfire of sorts.

[2] The Chinese character for fox is also pronounced as “Hu” though it is written differently.

[3] Water sleeves are the long silk extensions attached to the sleeves in order to produce rippling and flowing movements that resemble those of water.

[4] The Jing is an opera role played by a man with heavy face painting.

[5] A Zhongshan suit is a type of men's attire combining the styles of a Western suit and Chinese clothing.

[6] No results on Google, probably just a saying that emphasizes how famous Cai Yueqiu was.

[7] Wild or lonely ghosts are known as such because they have no living descendants to worship them.